Pokémon GO has already got Pokefans hurling their balls around real-life locations in a desperate bid to catch them all, but this addictive mobile game is also stirring up trouble, with the Australian police issuing warnings to Pokémon GO fans to ‘be alert’ while playing.
With that warning in mind, here are some times and places where you definitely shouldn’t play Pokémon GO, and the most inappropriate Pokéstops we’ve found so far. Don’t forget to check out our Pokémon GO tips and tricks too, as well as our guide to downloading Pokémon GO in any country.
Down the pub
Our local pub, hilariously called ‘The Cock’, was my very first Pokéstop. Wandering in to catch me a Pidgey, I was treated to fully-earned glares from local pensioners, who understandably thought I was a dim-witted tourist filming a traditional British boozer on my smartphone. Of course, my Pokémon was hiding behind the bar, so I felt obliged to sink a few pints while catching the little bugger.
Church
Whatever you do, don’t start jabbering about seeing little furry devils dancing between the aisles of your local god house, while desperately scrambling to catch these invisible creatures. Chances are you’ll cause a couple of strokes and find yourself on the receiving end of a brutal exorcism.
Read next: Weirdest places to find Pokémon in Pokémon GO
Toilet time
There’s nothing more unsettling than settling down for a well-earned dump and then spotting a Charmander stalking across the cubicle floor. We’d be out of there, still tugging up our drawers, before you can say ‘charred testicle hair’.
Police stations
Australian Pokémon GO players have been raising the hackles of their constabulary, by wandering into Darwin Police Station to catch a critter. “For those budding Pokémon Trainers out there using Pokémon GO,” said the Northern Territory Police, Fire and Emergency Services, “whilst the Darwin Police Station may feature as a Pokéstop, please be advised that you don’t actually have to step inside in order to gain the Pokéballs.” Although the resident criminals, with their limited ability to wander around the city, would be easy pickings if you decided to take them on.
At a funeral
Although some graveyards have apparently been tagged as actual Pokéstops despite the developers’ best intents, it’s probably a good idea to leave those Pokémon until the coast is clear. Funeral-goers are unlikely to be sympathetic to your gotta-catch-’em-all plight, apart from maybe the young ones who didn’t really like Uncle Jimmy anyway, because he always gave them socks for Christmas and smelled a little bit like wee.
Sexy time
If your lover is beckoning you to bed, you’re probably best off ignoring that Squirtle sat in the corner of the room, watching you both with a disturbingly eager expression.
While your partner is giving birth
Maybe that lusty Pokemon did nothing to put you off your stride. Nine months down the line, you might want to slip your phone away while your partner is in the throes of labour, to avoid being seen as ‘insensitive’. Although if your hand gets crushed to dust during the glorious act of child birthing, your pokeball-throwing skills will undoubtedly be dented.
Photo via Reddit (Bringther1ot)
While driving
Yes, we’ve already heard accounts of Pokémon Now players boosting their collection by driving around town, ticking off as many Pokéstops as possible without even leaving their car. Just so we’re clear, you don’t get extra points for backing over old people while playing Pokémon GO.
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