Why waste your life in front of more Oscar-worthy feelgood biopics when you could watch something truly moronic instead? We round up the Best Worst Movies you can stream online right now.
Condorman – Now TV
How to get Now TV, New Now TV Box (2015) reviewCondorman is somehow more shambolic that the early Wright brothers costume sported by lead actor Michael Crawford. The premise itself isn’t too bad, not a million miles away from a Pink Panther farce and the Henry Mancini soundtrack is at least kind of hummable, but even retro charm can’t save it from being a stinker of the highest order.
Given the current rate at which superhero movies and remakes are being guffed out, it’s only really a matter of time before this gets a the invtiable parody remake, probably starring Rob Schneider. The only way a Condorman reboot could be in any way good is if Disney lets Charlie Brooker write and direct it.
Now TV Movies Passes cost £9.99/month.
Batman & Robin – Amazon Instant Video
How can I watch Amazon Prime on TV?Easily the worst of the Joel Schumacher era of the Batman canon; and by worst we mean most quotable. You can play a potentially lethal drinking game with Batman & Robin; take a shot every time Arnold Schwarzenegger utters another groan-worthy dad joke and take a double shot every time there’s an unnecessary close up of George Clooney’s Bat-bum.
For its sins, Batman & Robin is unashamedly silly which is something you couldn’t say about Christopher Nolan’s over-long Batflicks.
Batman & Robin costs £3.49 to rent and £5.99 to buy.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space – Netflix
How can I watch Netflix on my TV?Before everyone complained about Batfleck being a dick to Superman for no apparent reason, there was John Vernon as police officer Curtis Mooney, whose performance throughout Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a masterclass in sustained hostility.
Killer Klowns serves up as many unintentional laughs as intentional ones; besides the utterly woeful effects that you might expect, there’s much joy to be derived from a chase scene involving a balloon dog and victims being sealed up in Invasion of the Body Snatchers-style pods that (naturally) happen to be made from candy floss.
Netflix subscriptions start at £5.99/month.
Rubber – Amazon Prime Video
Best movies to watch on Amazon Prime VideoTaking the it’s-meant-to-be-crap-on-purpose-so-don’t-judge-it horror movie premise to its logical conclusion is Rubber, a movie in which people find themselves dispatched by a sentient rubber tyre called Robert.
Amazon Prime Video subscriptions cost either £5.99/month or free when taken with Amazon Prime nxt day deliveries (£79/year).
Absolution – Netflix
Best movies to watch on NetflixAbsolution is an hour and a half of Steven Seagal karate chopping and kicking the crap out of random east European bad guys. Bryon Mann, perhaps better known as Ryu from the Street Fighter movie, is in it too. Vinny Jones wears a gimp mask.
Blubberella – Amazon Prime Video
Best movies to watch on Now TVSeeing the words ‘an Uwe Boll film’ appearing on screen is usually a good indicator that you’re going to waste the next few hours of your life.
Blubberella begins on a breathtakingly offensive note and things don’t really improve from there. The titular Blubberella, an obese human-vampire hybrid who is ‘mostly dough’ wakes up in a strange bed with a silo of rubber penises next to her. The next caption sets the scene for us; ‘1940 Germany, in a Jew-y part of town.’ It makes your average South Park episode look polite.
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