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Man arrested for having sex with driveway

Men will attempt to hump just about anything. Women, other men, inanimate objects – you name it. But one thing we’ve never seen a man attempt to bone, until now, is a driveway. Yes – a driveway; the concrete stretch of paving you park your car on.

That bizarre act of lust was performed by one David Michael Gray. According to court documents, a woman pulled into the driveway of her Harris County, Texas home and was approached by a man asking for a lighter. She told him she didn’t have one, he walked away and she entered her home. Seconds later, she noticed the man “thrusting and humping” on her driveway.

Man humps driveway. No, we're not sure why.
Man humps driveway. No, we’re not sure why.

Gray, 41, was arrested later the same day, with his bond set at $3,500.

Now, you’re probably asking yourself several questions, chiefly: “Why?”. We have no answeres. Maybe he was mentally insane. Maybe he was lusting for more than just a cigarette all along. Maybe he really liked her car. Maybe the cigarette withdrawal (presumably that’s why he wanted the lighter) causes that sort of lust. Or maybe he slipped, fell, knocked himself unconscious and was dreaming about particular activities that caused him to thrust and hump in his sleep.

It’s odd, we think you’ll agree. But hey — each to their own.  


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