The man who signed his driving licence with a genitals sketch

For some of us with poor handwriting, the few times a year we have to sign our name can be embarrassing. But just think – you could be this guy.

Australian Jared Hymans thought it would be amusing to sign his erection election form with a sketch of a tiny gentleman’s sausage. He then attempted to use it on his bank account, proof of age ID card, passport and even his driving licence.

Suffice to say, officials were not too impressed and began to form a stiff opposition. According to the Sydney Morning Herald report, the 33-year-old from Melbourne started to get phone calls and letters telling him his ‘signature’ was an issue.

“I thought it would be a laugh… but the s**t hit the fan. I was receiving letters and phone calls telling me I couldn’t have it. I thought, that’s interesting, why not? It sparked something in me. I didn’t understand if these people were offended or had taken it personally,” he said.

Officials refused the signature on the grounds it was “offensive” and, bizarrely, “could constitute sexual harrassment”.

Rather than give up, the mature student decided to fight a five-year legal battle to allow him the privilege to use his new signature in an official capacity. He even signed up for a law degree to give himself the necessary legal knowledge.

Although he has since lost the legal battle, which government officials called “frivolous, vexatious” and a waste of tax payer’s money, they were kind enough (or perhaps ballsed things up) to let the signature appear on his drivers licence, in addition to his bank account forms, library card, student ID and health care card.

Celebrating the fact he managed to sneak a penis onto his driver’s licence, Hyman added: “What a signature is comes down to the function, not the actual form. Generally, it’s a person putting a mark on a piece of paper by their own hand.

“As soon as you start defining what a signature is you run into problems – if it’s meant to be someone’s name how do we define that because most signatures are just illegible scribble.”

And we thought that bloke who challenged the DVLA so he could wear a spaghetti colander on his head in a driving licence photo was one sandwich short of a picnic…