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Top 10 ‘cars’ from the Red Bull Soapbox Race 2013

A portable toilet, a dung beetle riding a large ball of shit, and a giant stiletto all took to the road yesterday as part of the 2013 Red Bull Soapbox Race. These, along with other weird and wonderful car designs all went head-to-head in the most bonkers gravity race the planet has ever seen in front of 50,000 spectators. Recombu Cars was on hand, as part of team Fast, Furious & Furze, to take part in the action, and we had plenty of time to cast an eye over our fellow competitors. Here are some of our favourites.

The Blonde Bimbos

These Bimbos didn't make it very far in the race before crashing out.
These Bimbos didn’t make it very far in the race before crashing out.

Tanya, Ozchen, Lily and Tracey make up the Blonde Bombshells — a team of make-up-loving racers obsessed with shoes. The girls, instantly recognisable by their peroxide hair and enormous — some might say slightly fake — boobs took to the track in a giant pink stiletto. They didn’t make it very far sadly, crashing out within the first ten seconds of their run.

Bolt Mobile

Like the man himself, the Bolt Mobile proved incredibly popular. It crashed out in incredible fashion, too.
Like the man himself, the Bolt Mobile proved incredibly popular. It crashed out in incredible fashion, too.

If there was an award for best craftsmanship, it would go to team Bolt Mobile. The guys behind this incredible creation say it took only a week to make. Perhaps they should have spent a bit longer on it, however, as halfway through the course they appeared to lose steering and crashed out big-style. Much credit to them, however (or should we say ‘big up’?). Sure, it wasn’t as fast as the man himself, but the team delivered one of the most memorable carts to grace this event in years.

2 Peas in a Cod

A brilliant name, some brilliant crashing and a brilliant performance -- this team had it all.

The recipe for this soapbox racer was simple: Insert two men dressed as peas inside one slightly catfish-looking cod. Sadly, the recipe was slightly flawed, as peas aren’t particularly good drivers. Half the fish’s face was sheared off when they tackled the final obstacle at the end of the run, but it was brilliant fun watching them in action.

Block Gear

It looks fast, but not even Sebastian Vettel could get this thing to win.

Squint and you might mistake this for Sebastian Vettel’s Kinky Kylie. Look a little closer and its aerodynamic shortcomings become obvious, however – this Lego-inspired F1 racer is littered with hundreds of giant bumps that are great for slotting things onto, but terrible for fast lap times.

Asparacart

The Asparacart team were great fun and had plenty of imagination.

Until now, we thought the greenest car on the planet was the Nissan Leaf, but the Asparacart might have something to say about that. It might look like ten giant, hollowed-out asparagus sprigs tied together but there’s so much more to this bad boy. Check out the F1-style leopard-print tyre warmers; the laptop for providing race telemetry, and the suggestive fuel gauges. This thing was built to be a winner – just not on this occasion.

Daredevils

The Daredevils were the only all-female crew to finish the race. Just.

The second of two all-girl teams, the Daredevils (aka Kirsty, Vikki, Kirsy and Katie) say they will stop at nothing to win. They certainly didn’t stop, careering all the way down the track in a wobbly, but determined fashion. We love their never-say-die spirit, their pink toolboxes (ahem), their outfits (complete with tails) and the fact they gave us free cupcakes.

Autobots – Welsh blokes in disguise

This team of Welsh Autobot wannabes proved enormously popular.

This team of four young Welshmen rolled out in an incredibly detailed lorry, one of the largest soapboxes at the event. Not only was it impressively large, but pinstripe flames, exotic twin tone paintwork, flashy chrome features and a large Welsh flag helped make sure you couldn’t miss it.

Scotcheggspress

We're pretty sure the lady dressed as a furry animal wasn't part of this team. She was just hungry for some eggs.

It’s a scotch egg, so cue the egg pun: The guys behind this are, in their own words, “ a crazy bunch of EGGcentric YOKEals from a Scotch EGG factory in Lincolnshire which makes over 600,000 every week, and are EGGstremely EGGcited about this EGGceptional EGGsample of EGGstreme sports.” We hear they eggxited the competition by crashing out, so they clearly didn’t have much eggsperience driving.

Fast, Furious & Furze

There was more to this malfunctioning laptop than meets the iMac.

The Furzeputer might not look very fast (it wasn’t, particularly) and it doesn’t appear to have the same level of workmanship as some of the other entries, but there’s more to this giant laptop than meets the iMac. Its driver, Colin Furze, was loaded in virus-style via a huge “STD card” and the vehicle itself is laden with a shedload of pyrotechnics, including a pair of sparking power cables, smoke bombs and fireworks.

Saw Point

They should have known the name 'saw point' (a saw pun for 'sore point') would come back to haunt them.

You didn’t see team Saw Point on the televised Red Bull Soapbox Race. That’s because they suffered an almighty crash near the finish line that, on first glance, looked like it might result in tragedy. The pair riding the cart were thrown into the air when tackling the final huge ramp and landed, for the part, on their own faces. Luckily, they were wearing helmets and got up immediately following the accident. The last we heard, everyone was fine.

 

 

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