What does your car say about you? You won’t be surprised by what BMW owners think of themselves

A survey has been taken of the characteristics certain car drivers believe they have, and it’s not going to shatter the stereotypes any time soon.

A survey has been conducted into the personality traits of car drivers, and it won’t surprise you (although it may shock any long-suffering partners) that 40% of BMW drivers describe themselves as “excellent lovers”. 38% of the drivers of this German marque also claim to be the fastest on the road as well; perhaps if they weren’t racing between bedroom romps they would actually have the time to bother flashing their indicators.

The survey, conducted by YesAuto UK, asked of 2,000 motorists across the UK, doesn’t just stop there. According to this same source, Range Rover drivers claim to be the best-paid of all motorists, Audi drivers claim to be the most popular on social media and Mercedes-Benz drivers are apparently the most opinionated. Who could have guessed? They all seem like such shrinking violets.

Heading away from the Hoorah Henrys, and you can find that even culture vultures can be identified by the brand of their car; 72% of Volvo drivers claim to be well-read, while 44% of Volkswagen drivers describe themselves as foodies and 40% of Skoda drivers are classic music appreciators.

Unfortunately The Italian Job might need a ramped-down remake, since 60% of Mini owners describe their driving style as “slow, careful, and defensive”, but Alfa Romeo fans are likely to be speedy even when they’re on their own two feet and not behind the wheel, seeing as they exercise for eight-hours a week on average (well above the five-hour UK average).

While it may be entertaining reading, what’s the real point of this research? Neil You, General Manager of YesAuto UK, explains that these insights are ideal forewarnings for the salesmen on the forecourts: “The research clearly highlights the differences in personalities depending on the car that you drive. This could help dealers understand their customers’ tastes better and for instance, this could be ensuring the music playlist is set to the preference of different drivers for test drives.”

This could be risky business; 21% of BMW drivers prefer grime music, more than any other customer base, but it’s hard to know if the remaining 79% are Stormzy supporters to, or if they just like the sound of their own voice.